COTW#2: How to be chill.
The one ‘cool girl’ quality I’m willing to cultivate.
The one ‘cool girl’ quality I’m willing to cultivate. Being chill is certifiably chic.
I’m hosting Christmas dinner for 10 people this year in my little two bedroom terraced house. I’ve never done it before. Never cooked a turkey before. I currently don’t have enough chairs or matching plates or wine glasses. The dining room is half painted and I haven’t put the Christmas tree up. Everyone says ‘it’s so much work’ and asks ‘are you stressed?!’.
Here’s why I’m not.
Believe in your decisions
Indecision is the enemy of chill. Having a ‘bias to action’ and making decisions I can live with quickly, has been transformative for me. You see, a lot of the work involved in managing stressful situations is making choices. However, the longer you stay in a state of indecision, the harder making the choice becomes.
For about four years, I didn’t have a toaster. I sliced bagels in half and put them under the grill. It took half an hour to get even a hint of golden brown so I often just wouldn’t bother. Four years without toast. You see, I never found a toaster I liked enough to buy. They really are all very ugly. I finally bought one for £12 from Asda. I don’t love it, but since owning it never really thought twice about owning a beautiful toaster. The lesson? If you can’t decide, just choose anything that solves the problem.
It’s my best advice for anyone moving into a new home too. If you are moving into a place that needs a lot of work, don’t wait to make it better. The perfect paint colour exists, sure, but it might take you three years to find it. Choose something you can live with, and trust that you made the right decision in the circumstances of that moment. You will very rarely regret it.
Believe in redirection
I recently finished ‘Solve For Happy’ and I still talk about it a lot. After the death of his son during a routine appendicitis operation, Mo Gawdat, a former engineer for Google, set out to make one million people happier.
In the book, he asks readers to consider whether if they could go back and change anything bad that happened to you in their life, would they? Back to the future, butterfly effect consequences aside, the idea is that most people wouldn’t change most negative experiences. Why? Because typically our most challenging trials cultivate our most valued qualities, or redirect us to a better path. Or as my gran is always saying ‘what for ye, won’t go by ye hen’.
When you can accept big disappointments or challenges as redirection, you stop stressing about the little things too. Train delays, broken plates, spilling your coffee, a late parcel delivery. All kinda annoying, but in the grand scheme of things aren’t we lucky to experience them as part of an otherwise pretty chill day?
Believe in yourself
‘Maddy knew who she was from a very early age.’
One of the most beautiful things about getting older, is that you have more practice at being yourself. You have experience of making bad decisions and you (hopefully) know what your values are.
Believing in yourself isn’t about becoming a wildly confident baddie. If that’s not who you really are, trying to be this person will seriously mess with your value alignment. Believing in yourself is about trusting your character to make the right decision for you.
I went to law school, but did not become a lawyer. For the longest time, I couldn’t work out why the environment made me so uncomfortable, so nervous. I wanted to rip off my shirt and pencil skirt at every interview. I was forcing myself into a career I ‘should do’ rather than one that felt right for me. Your gut knows. I’m trying not to be too flippant here, but if the vibes are off its probably not for you.
It’s applicable to micro-decisions too, and in Atomic Habits, James Clear talks a lot about building small habits that are a ‘vote’ for the person you believe yourself to be.
If you know yourself, understand your values, and trust in your character you literally cannot go wrong. Your decisions are right for you. You might have to say no, you might have to do things the hard way, and you might even feel jealousy or anger towards those who are happy to use life’s cheat codes. But there is nothing, NOTHING more valuable than your peace.
POLL PARTY
THE ACTION
Give your future self a FREE Harrods Beauty advent calendar.
Yes you read that correctly. Did you know Harrods Beauty have a recycling scheme that offers £5 worth of points for every 5 items recycled? Well you do now. I’ve been doing it for a while, and those points really do be stacking up. I calculated that if you start now and recycle each week, you will have enough points to get the calendar next year for freeee.
I go to the one in Edinburgh when I’m through for work, but now Glasgow has the flagship I’ll be unstoppable. The main question I get asked is ‘do the items you recycle need to be luxury or from Harrods?’. No. you can do Aldi shower gel if you have it. There are some restrictions and items must be clean before you go, so do check the info on the website.
Simply sign up for a Harrods MyBeauty points card, and get recycling.
STUFF
*CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR MY GUESTS*
Fun (and budget) placemats to make your aunt say ‘you’re just so quirky’.
Our Place have a chokehold on me. Got a top up of these plates.
I can’t walk past a cute napkin ring. These are chic.
I’m a coupe gal for my fizz personally.
Red! Ruffled! What’s not to love about these linen napkins.
Picture the scene Christmas morning: a croissant & these espresso cups.
Gotta have a matching table runner.
If you need a full restock, I do recommend this Our Place set. Only one bowl chipped in 3 years. It’s Henry’s bowl now.
I really, really love a flat bottom, straight-sided glass you know.
READ
Could be my memoir honestly.
Picked up a signed copy of Eliza Clark’s ‘She’s Always Hungry’ at the Foyles Christmas party and I’m super excited to devour it in one sitting. With a box of Celebrations (naturally).
DO
I plan to stay home as much as possible this week honestly.
BAAD Festive Night Market (Glasgow), Wednesday 18th December, 5-10pm Independent makers, DJs, food and drink - free entry.
Vieve Popup (Glasgow), 5th-23rd December All the info on why this is a must-visit for me in the *spoiler* cool list section.
Lots of going out and meeting up. I haven’t gotten a full restaurant reccos post together yet. But here are some ideas if you are in the market.
Glasgow: Margot, Sears, Gaga, Celentanos, Five March, Gloriosa, Sylvan
Edinburgh: Noto, Chez Jules, The Palmerston, Tipo, Paz tacos,
BOOK CLUB
For December we will be chatting Intermezzo by Sally Rooney. Join the book club thread to share your thoughts.
COOL LIST
National Treasure Jamie Genevieve joins the Cool List for Vieve
… and more specifically, the Vieve Popup
It’s hard to build a really good brand. As a marketer I know that a following of millions only guarantees eyeballs - not quality or success. But Vieve is a truly beautiful, value-led beauty business. Supported by innovative products and a relatable founder, you can really see how Vieve could become a worldwide household name.
The Vieve popup (now in its fourth year) is a wonderful Christmas tradition in Glasgow. Jamie invites the public to step into the world of Vieve, cementing the brand as customer-centric and a lot of fun. With partnerships, guest spots, and exclusive products it is an exciting cultural event to mark your calendar for. It’s creative, it’s cool, and for many, it’s Christmas. Not an easy feat to pull off.
My makeup bag is 80% Vieve now, so there’s not much left I haven’t tried. I do want a water bottle, maybe some socks, the balm foundation and I’ll pick up some gift sets…and I guess we’re gonna need a tote bag.
AND FINALLY…
Thanks for reading Chic of the Week. I’d love to hear your thoughts and chat more, so please start a party in the comments.
Loved ✨ taking notes on all the new house advice